'I’m not contributing my hard-earned money to ease her guilt': Coworker demands everyone pitch $50 for their boss's Christmas gift, then crosses the line, offering unsolicited financial advice after someone refuses

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Dec 21, 2024 7:00 AM EST

In the workplace, gifts are supposed to trickle down from the top, so when this employee was asked to pitch $50 for their boss's gift, they thought twice about that coal in their stocking.

Some of us aren't getting a Christmas bonus. While we don't all expect to get a jam subscription from our bosses at the end of the year, we certainly haven't budgeted our holiday funds to include a CEO who's making 8x of our salary. So when this worker was asked to factor in their boss onto their Christmas list, they firmly dug in their heels. And even after a year of "record profits," and a few morale-boosting pizza parties, no CEO is earning any bonuses from the employees on the lower floors. Because at the end of the day, once they've written themselves a hefty 5-figure bonus check, that's more holiday funds than any lowly worker could surmount.

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    Cheezburger Image 10445226752
    via CHALERMCHAI

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Coworker actually told me how to budget for boss's Christmas gifts when I finally told her I will have a strict budget from now on.
    via Old-Patience1026
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    Every year the contribution for boss's Christmas gifts has increased. Coworker tried to get $50 out of myself and my other coworker this year (there's only 3 of us). My other coworker obliged. I refused.
    via Old-Patience1026
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    Today I told her what I've been needing to say for too long. I told her no more than $20 from now on. She fought it at first. "I feel bad because she spends like $300 on each of us."
    via Old-Patience1026
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    (Side note: If she feels "bad" that's 100% on her. I'm not contributing my hard earned money to ease her guilt.) Well she's also gets paid A LOT more than us. At least way more than me.
    via Old-Patience1026
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    "But she spends so much!" And honestly, I'd rather her not. But that's her choice. "Well, you should come up with a way to budget for it. Even if it's just $5, here, $5 there."
    via Old-Patience1026
  • 07
    Did she hear herself?!? Asking me to budget for the boss's freaking gifts?!? I budget for necessities. This is FAR from a necessity. My own budgeting is my business! And how dare her give me financial advice for
    via Old-Patience1026
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    something like this. I know the look on my face told her all she needed to know. She finally said "we'll just each get her something on our own." Thank you!!! That's perfect. I
    via Old-Patience1026
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    don't want hear another word about a contribution to the boss's gift ever again. Edit: I also told her that we're not supposed to be gifting up anyway. I told her to look it up
    via Old-Patience1026
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    herself. She reiterated again how much boss spends on us. But I didn't budge on it. I don't care what she spends. That's her business, her choice.
    via Old-Patience1026
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    SockMaster9273 ΝΤΑ "I need $50 for the bosses gift this year" "I need the $50 to eat"
    via SockMaster9273
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    Old-Patience1026 OP Oh! That reminds me. I told her that too! That technically we're not supposed to be gifting up anyway. She looked at me like I had some nerve to say that. The reiterated what she spends on us. I don't care. No one is making her spend that. My statement stands firm.
    via Old-Patience1026
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    CharismaticAlbino Not to mention, it's entirely probable the company lets your boss buy those presents on the company's account. Meaning they don't cost her a dime. My husband is in senior management and gets expense accounts for everything work related.
    via CharismaticAlbino
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    zanne54 Oh man, I'm impressed at your restraint. I probably would have snarked back "Ok then, fine, my budget is now zero, and your feelings of gifting guilt aren't my problem to fix."
    via zanne54
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    Old Sheepherder_630 Fwiw $20 is too much. Gifts should flow down or sideways at work, never up. And you should never feel obligated. I was asked for $50 to contribute to the gift for the
    via Old_Sheepherder_630
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    owner of the company and when I declined they tried to guilt me by pointing out people who are contributing but make a lot less. I was so ped she was trying
    via Old_Sheepherder_630
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    to buy people out of their money for a guy whose watch cost more than most of the cars in the lot. Bosses are responsible for shutting this stuff down.
    via Old_Sheepherder_630
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    Luneowl It is so cringey to watch a toadying brown-noser at work. Had one woman who came in on her day off to give our supervisor a "#1 Boss" mug on National Boss Day. Even the boss gave her some side-eye for doing that!
    via Luneowl
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    Agniantarvastejana I would be mortified if my boss, as an individual, bought me a $300 Christmas gift. That spending level seems grossly out of alignment for an employee/boss relationship,
    via Agniantarvastejana
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    but I suppose it does depend on everybody's income level/ roles of the people that are in the department/ organization. That said. I just got a company holiday swag box that was easily worth between $300
    via Agniantarvastejana
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    and $400 (retail, but I know our buyer doesn't pay that) so I think it's the personal gifting aspect that I find uncomfortable, in contrast to employee spiffs. Maybe in the multi million dollar real estate world, it wouldn't be so weird and I'm actually just a poor. Oh noes! Existential crisis.
    via Agniantarvastejana

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